9 Words Women Use

[volwindy]

This is for all of my hen friends on here. But you guys might be able to relate...

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine:This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes:If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing:This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead:This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh:This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay:This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks:A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever:Is a women's way of saying ***** YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it:Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

[egotisticalmoron]

women use a lot more idiotic words than that.

[onevolfan]

Those are all true, but my husband could probably tell you a lot more.

[Vol Mania 21]

I'd like to add the tenth word:

Oh My Gosh/God: This is for when she thinks your an idiot, and/or you have embarrassed her. Danger Level: Orange

[egotisticalmoron]

mania, you act like a girl. you should've already known all of these words and their meanings.

[onevolfan]

Actually, in my case, I would have to disagree with #2 and say that this would be more true of my husband.

(If he sees this I'm going to be in trouble)

[tnvolsfan85]

Love it Windy!! That is so funny! All guys could learn from that!!

[Vol Mania 21]

Originally Posted by egotisticalmoron

mania, you act like a girl. you should've already known all of these words and their meanings.

yes i do know all of these, not because i'm a girl, but because they've all been used on me

[005]

That is absolutelyyyy hilarious.

Oh my gosh/god is absolutely on the money as well

if any more are thought of let's add them

[egotisticalmoron]

Originally Posted by Vol Mania 21

yes i do know all of these, not because i'm a girl, but because they've all been used on me

i didnt see one that said "stay away from me or i'm calling the cops"

[Vol Mania 21]

Originally Posted by egotisticalmoron

i didnt see one that said "stay away from me or i'm calling the cops"

obviously that's been used on you

[onevolfan]

Here's something else that some of the females..oops hens, might enjoy. A friend of mine emailed it to me. It's rather long, but funny.

INSTALLING HUSBAND Version 1.0


Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0, and noticed a distinct slow-down in overall system performance - particularly in the Flower and Jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, MLB 3.0, NBA 4.0, NASCAR 4.2 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

-----------------------

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter the command:
"http//www.I-Thought-You-Loved-Me.com" and try to download Tears 6.2, and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the
applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background, which will eventually seize control of all your system resources).

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory, and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

[volwindy]

Originally Posted by onevolfan

Those are all true, but my husband could probably tell you a lot more.

I'm sure he will see it!

Originally Posted by Dbake005

That is absolutelyyyy hilarious.

Oh my gosh/god is absolutely on the money as well

if any more are thought of let's add them

Oh I am sure there are plenty more, but thats all that came in the email

[tnvolsfan85]

[Vol Mania 21]

i feel bad for ur husband onevolfan he has to deal w/ that, and those stupid red pandas.