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07-23-2008, 12:08 AM
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#1 (permalink)
| | NASCAR Forum Mod
Join Date: Sep 2006  Location: Bristol, Birthplace of country music, TN
Posts: 7,389
| And then the Fight Started...........
And then the fight started
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.... so, I took her to a gas station..... and then the fight started....
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too' And then the fight started.....
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started.....
I rear-ended a car this morning . So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then you must be Grumpy.' And then the fight started.....
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When I moved from Tennessee to Ohio, it raised the average IQ of both states. | 
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07-23-2008, 12:10 AM
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#2 (permalink)
| | GIVE HIM SIX
Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Chattanooga
Posts: 10,105
| Quote:
Originally Posted by rbroyles  And then the fight started
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.... so, I took her to a gas station..... and then the fight started....
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too' And then the fight started.....
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started.....
I rear-ended a car this morning . So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then you must be Grumpy.' And then the fight started.....
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07-23-2008, 04:51 AM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 6,583
|  awesome | |
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07-23-2008, 11:14 AM
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#4 (permalink)
| | UT45-17
Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: FoCo, Colorado
Posts: 3,945
| Got this from my gf's mom yesterday. Except for the dwarf one.
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07-23-2008, 11:25 AM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Football Jones
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 16,111
| Good stuff broyles. LOL. | |
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07-23-2008, 11:27 AM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Mergelicious
Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: DFW
Posts: 15,752
| Good stuff, indeed.
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Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. | |
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07-23-2008, 12:12 PM
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#7 (permalink)
| | 21 days till Christmas!
Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Tennessee
Posts: 10,137
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07-25-2008, 01:16 PM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Fayetteville, TN
Posts: 1,085
|  Thats some good stuff
__________________
GO BIG ORANGE
American by birth
Vols fan by the grace of God
Last edited by orange4ever; 07-25-2008 at 01:20 PM.
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07-25-2008, 03:45 PM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Windy's Punk
Join Date: May 2007 Location: Big Orange Country
Posts: 8,238
| good stuff
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07-25-2008, 07:50 PM
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#10 (permalink)
| | Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Tennessee
Posts: 1,803
| I don't get it. | |
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07-25-2008, 07:52 PM
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#11 (permalink)
| | Volmeister extraordinaire
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Bizarro world
Posts: 16,837
| Quote:
Originally Posted by vols_are_champs I don't get it. | I'm not surprised..  | |
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07-25-2008, 07:58 PM
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#12 (permalink)
| | Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Tennessee
Posts: 1,803
| Quote:
Originally Posted by hmanvolfan I'm not surprised.. |  | |
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07-28-2008, 10:32 PM
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#14 (permalink)
| | Welcome to Knoxville Lane
Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 5,184
| That was some good stuff | |
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07-29-2008, 03:51 AM
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#15 (permalink)
| | Vol Nation's Mr. 2,467
Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Marion
Posts: 1,507
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