Gratuitous Joke Thread

[MemphisVol]

From a Class on Cultural History: During the Crusades, it was not only common for knights to put chastity belts on their women when they went, but to leave weird will-like documents behind entrusting the key to the belts to a friend with the proviso that, if worse came to worse, after a certain number of years, the belt should be unlocked....

In a bunch of different medaeval records, a standard joke is where the knight sets off for the Holy Land and Destiny, then, 10 miles down the road, the friend catches up on a lathered horse and gasps, "Damn, dude, you gave me the wrong key."

[tidwell]

Have you ever saw Stevie Wonder's house?

Neither has he.

[MyBloodRunnethOrange]

Originally Posted by (MemphisVol @ Mar 22, 2006 1:49 AM)

From a Class on Cultural History: During the Crusades, it was not only common for knights to put chastity belts on their women when they went, but to leave weird will-like documents behind entrusting the key to the belts to a friend with the proviso that, if worse came to worse, after a certain number of years, the belt should be unlocked....

In a bunch of different medaeval records, a standard joke is where the knight sets off for the Holy Land and Destiny, then, 10 miles down the road, the friend catches up on a lathered horse and gasps, "Damn, dude, you gave me the wrong key."

After all, what are friends for

[thebradmanvolfan]

Originally Posted by (tidwell @ Mar 22, 2006 1:57 PM)

Have you ever saw Stevie Wonder's house?

Neither has he.

dude thats mean

[tidwell]

It never gets old to me...

[hohenfelsvol]

Rejected Titles for the movie Brokeback Mountain:

- "PRANCES WITH WOLVES"
- "JEREMIAH'S JOHNSON"
- "BUTCH ASSIDY AND THE BUNDANCE KID"
- "THE MAN WHO SHOT ALL OVER LIBERTY VALANCE"
- "HOW THE WEST WAS HUNG"
- "THE LEGEND OF THE LONG RANGER"
- "DOC'S HOLIDAY WITH BILLY THE KID"
- "LONESOME DOUG"
- "DESTRY RIDES AGAIN... AND AGAIN"
- "MCCABE AND MR. MILLER"
- "HI, PLAINS DRIFTER!"
- "THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN INCHES"
- "QUICKLY DOWN UNDER"
- "BAREBACK MOUNTING"
- "BONE-NANZA"
- "DON'T MESS WITH TEX' ASS"
- "HOME ON THE RANGER"
- "OKLAHOMO"
- "ROOSTER COCKBURN"
- "LITTLE BATHHOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE"
- "BALONEY PONY RODEO"
- "TUBESTEAK COWBOYS"
- "SILVER-ROD-Ohhh!!!"

[vols kick balls]

:bow: :bow: :bow:

[checkerboard_charly]

what do a fat white chick and a brick have in common?



sooner or later they will get laid by a mexican.

[thebradmanvolfan]

[MyBloodRunnethOrange]

Originally Posted by (checkerboard_charly @ Mar 22, 2006 11:41 PM)

what do a fat white chick and a brick have in common?
sooner or later they will get laid by a mexican.

[surrealvol]

If you find a turtle without its shell, is it naked or homeless?

[tidwell]

What's the hardest part about being a skateboarder?

Telling your parents you're gay.

[LadyinOrange]

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees a
Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log.

"My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf!"

The wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the road Little Red
Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched behind
a bush.

My, what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf!"

Again the wolf jumps up and runs away. About two miles down the
Road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is
crouched down behind a rock.

"My, what big teeth you have, Mr. Wolf!"

With that the wolf jumps up and screams, "Will you knock it off?
I'm trying to poop!

[dan4vols]

Guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder...points at the beer tap. As the barkeep sits down his beer, he glances at the parrot and he says where'd ya get him? Parrot says I won him in a raffle............

[Lexvol]

A lady gets on the bus with her baby and the bus driver says "that is the ugliest baby I have ever seen, you should go to the back of the bus where you won't scare my customers."

The lady goes back to her seat fuming. A stranger noticed the red faced lady and says, "what is wrong?"

To which the lady replies, "the bus driver just said one of the meanest things you could ever say to the lady."

Eager to help the stranger says, "you should go up there and give the driver a piece of your mind. Here I will hold your monkey for you"